Category: complaints

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chapter complaints ideas thoughts

Warnings: Do not express your boundaries

Just after I read chapter 2 of »Complaint« I went to the FLINTA*- Kampftag rally at the Theaterplatz where a young woman was courageously giving a speech on how she often does not respect her boundaries in order to please others. She even said something like: “It took me so many years of therapy to realize that I even have such a thing as boundaries.” I could relate to that. And to my mind, not expressing and advocating for your boundaries is directly related to what Sara Ahmed explains as “warnings [that are] an instruction about what you need to do in order to avoid a damaging situation” (Ahmed 2021: 70).

Especially as a young woman, I receive so many warnings that depict me as being self-damaging when I express personal boundaries, articulate my opinion or complain about institutional or societal problems. The sketch below shows me being influenced by such warnings. I wrote down a few that were still so present to me that I could easily remember them. They are representative of so many more.

Illustration 1: Receiving warnings

_____________

In this sketch, where I receive warnings, I decided to keep the warnings in my native language because I feel they have more impact on me that way

English translation:

Fellow student: “Be careful not to complain too much or you’ll get a bad grade.” Grandma: “Don’t always complain or you’ll never find a boyfriend.”
Dad: ”Don’t engage in political activism in Weimar – it could be dangerous.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Why are you always so bitchy? It’s not that bad. I don’t like you like that.”

References:

Ahmed, Sara. Complaint!, New York, USA: Duke University Press, 2021.

Categories
book complaints

Hearing complaint: A practical attempt

In beginning to explore Sara Ahmed’s book, »Complaint!« I decided to take a practical attempt: I interviewed two friends about their experiences with complaints and the feelings and thoughts associated with them. Although I did not know how the conversation would turn out, as I intentionally left the questions open, I saw it as an interesting approach to use the “feminist ear” as a research method, as Ahmed did in the development process of »Complaint!« (cf. Ahmed 2021: 8). The following conversation took place in a cozy surrounding on a sunny afternoon between three friends.

J: Did you ever complain about something?
T: Yeah. In private life or to some organization or agency?

J: Everything is included in this question – whatever you complained about. What did you do? Why did you complain? And where did you complain?

T: I regularly complain about stuff that I don’t like. But before I complain, I do a long analysis in my head. Why does it bother me? Does it bother only me or bother other people as well? And then when I come to the conclusion that it’s generally not accepted – such a behavior is not accepted – I’m saying it to the person. But not directly, I start giving hints: “Maybe there, if we do this way, this way or another way…” I’m complaining not directly but indirectly.

J: In such situations, what were you complaining about, for example?

T: Recently, I’ve been complaining about, for example, where we put the shopping bags, if we do the dishes right after we cooked, or if we tidy up the bed after we wake up, or if the table is full of stuff like I complain that it’s not how it’s supposed to be. There is no structure and no organization.

J: Besides your personal life, have you ever complained to an organization?

T: Recently, I didn’t complain about an organization related topic I think – at least in the last few months.

J: Okay. And before?
T: And before….I need one minute to think about it.
J: Yes, no worries.
T: I am gonna check my emails – maybe.
J: So R, in the meantime, maybe you could tell me a little bit about your complaint history.

R: Actually, when T was giving her answers I was thinking like, I seem to complain a lot about things. But that’s because I’m really opinionated. I would say, not so much in my private life, but a few examples came to my mind. I think when I was 15, or 16, or something, I complained to a

radio station because they were always playing the song, “Can you blow my whistle, baby?”. It was the first time I understood the lyrics, and I was like: “Why do you play this all the time? Little kids are listening to this!” And now I’m like: “Yeah, but there is also sexual freedom.” Recently I complained to my employer about gendering in German. I read an article that you should do it with a star and not with a colon, because that’s easier to read for people who use text to speech programs, as it’s easier to process for such programs. So blind people can better understand gendered language, if it’s written in a certain way. And so I asked: “Where can I complain about this to our company, so we can change it in the policy of our community and outside communication?” And then, like in my private life, I like to complain as like “pretend complaining”. If I feel a certain way, it’s good to just complain about stuff a little bit. Let a little bit of grumpiness out. And just be like: “I hate that I have to go there”. Even if you like to go there – maybe you made an appointment with a friend or something – and then you’re like: “Why do I have to go? I don’t even want to go anymore.” You’ve complained and after you’ve complained you’re like: “Okay, now I can go, because now it’s fine somehow.”

J: So, to some extent complaining has the function to just get pressure out of your system in this case?

R: Yes.

J: Okay. Let’s take a step back to the case you mentioned before, the complaint about the gendering at your workplace. What was the reaction to your complaint?

R: At first it was kind of a question actually that I asked in our pride network. I got a lot of answers in the intranet that were positive and reactions like “Yeah, let’s do that, it’s good”. And I had also asked for official marketing contacts from the headquarter – so people gave me names. But after that, after I came out of that bubble of people who understood and went into the corporate organisation, the reactions were more like: “Oh, you have to talk to this person, because we’re not responsible for that”. And it was kind of like, getting pushed to the next person and to the next person, because everybody said they’re not responsible and that their department is not where the decision is made. So it hasn’t really ended anywhere. I haven’t really found the person to talk to. It seems like they try to avoid it or try to avoid make a definite decision.

J: How does this make you feel?

R: Cynical, I guess, because it’s kind of what I thought would happen, but I thought I’m just gonna do it anyway. Because? Yeah, I don’t know. I already thought it wasn’t gonna go far, but I also thought, if nobody says anything, they won’t know that people are looking out for that or that this subject is important.

J: Okay, I think I understand.
J: T, did you find something in your email account?

T: No, I didn’t find anything and I tried to remember the last year. But it seems like I didn’t complain to any organizations or something. Unfortunately – maybe.

R: I know that you did complain to an organisation. You complained to your internet provider, because it didn’t work or something? Or didn’t you?

T: Oh, yeah. Yes, it was V. The internet didn’t work and then I had to call them. I explained that we had no internet the last two weeks. Sometimes we had internet, sometimes we didn’t have internet for many hours, and it cannot work this way. And then they said: “Yes, but we cannot do anything.” And then I asked: “Okay, then can you please give me free data, like 50 gigabytes of data, so that I can work”. And then the person said: “No, I cannot do it. It’s not working this way.” And I said: “Yes, but I have a contract with you and now it’s not working. Please let me talk to your boss.” And the person said: “No, I cannot do it. I’m so sorry.” And then at some point, I got mad. And I just said: “Okay, thank you”, and then I hung up, because it didn’t lead anywhere. And I just felt mad.

J: In the end, you didn’t have a solution for your problem?
T: Yeah, I didn’t have a solution. But luckily, it just worked the next day – somehow. J: In general, what does complaining mean to you?

T: Lately it is like, to take out your uncomfortable feeling from the inside out, and then just let the spirit feel free. Yes. And also sometimes, complaining doesn’t have any meaning to me, if after I let it out, I don’t feel better. I know I will feel better, if there will be people who listen to me and then develop a solution, or help me to find a solution by myself. Then, it’s a useful complaint. Yes – there are two types of complaint: Useful complaint and useless complaint. Useless complaining is just letting your complaint out loud and you just bother the people in front of you. You are not helping them and you’re not helping yourself as well.

J: And what about you, R?

R: I think it also depends on the type of complaint I’m doing. If I’m doing it playfully, or like to let off steam, it can sometimes mean kind of a connection. I have a work best friend and we like to complain about work. We send memes back and forth like “Work sucks” and “I’m so tired”. And like, you know, the Friday memes and the Monday memes and the Wednesday memes. So complaining can also be like a friendship activity, I guess. If a group of people complain about the same things, it’s also kind of unifying sometimes. That can be in a fun way unifying or also in a serious way unifying. Because activism is kind of complaining about something, but with more people and like a demonstration is also complaining, I guess. For me that means community sometimes, but it also means vulnerability. Because if you complain about something that is important to you, and you complain about it, then you’re giving away something of yourself, and you kind of give it to other people, you’re being vulnerable. And then there’s always the risk that by complaining, you kind of make it worse for yourself or that they know that that’s a sore point for you and you kind of have to trust someone to be good with that, to treat it well, and to not use it for something.

J: As a last question: How does talking about complaints make you feel? How is it to talk about your history of complaints and about complaining in general?

R: I feel good about it. But if I think about activism, right now, for me, it’s exhausting to complain, sometimes. Because it’s always like a fight. You have to put some resources into it to have a stance on something and then defend that. If you complain, then you have to sit behind the complaint and defend it against other arguments, for example. Although, talking about what I’ve done in the past, I feel good, because I feel like it’s always kind of an expression of your

boundaries, and it feels good to set them. Even if they are not always respected, at least you did something for yourself. So that’s good.

T: I personally don’t like the feeling of complaining: I mean, when I complain, I don’t like how I feel. But then I feel good when I talk about the times when I was complaining, because obviously it brought me some improvements and results. So talking about the times when I complained is good, but I don’t like the process of complaining itself. I try not to do it so much. But I also realized that sometimes it helps. So I’m just having my inner fights all the time, but it’s fine. That’s me.

J: Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and stories with me.

Reflecting on my friends’ thoughts, I realized that complaining as a practice is intuitively not always related to problems and discrimination within organizations or structures of power. As R explained, complaining as a communication tool can be playful and helps to investigate personal boundaries and let off steam.

The picture of letting off steam reminds me of Ahmeds’ illustration of the “liquid that spills out from a container” (Ahmed 2021: 18), which is a much more intense and painful description. For me this shows how making a complaint that is personally important to the complainant is connected to vulnerability and making something extremely personal visible in an unprotected space.

I was saddened when T and R explained that before they filed a complaint with an institution and thus left the protected space, they already assumed that their complaint would not lead anywhere or bring systemic change. Both have experienced not being heard or even being put off and sent from one person to another.

As Ahmed states “hearing complaints can also be how you learn how complaints are not heard” (Ahmed 2021: 6). That was perhaps the most present thought in my mind, after the conversation. Using a “feminist ear” made me realize how people in my nearest surrounding are being put off and not heard when complaining about personally important problems and discrimination.

Questions that stick in my head are: What are people’s motives for ignoring complainants’ voices? And how are those related to or built upon institutional mechanisms? Was, for example, T turned down for policy reasons by her internet provider? And why did nobody from the corporate team help R with her attempt to advocate for greater accessibility?

References:
Ahmed, Sara. Complaint!, New York, USA: Duke University Press, 2021.

Categories
book complaints example

Harvard’s Sexual-Harassment Suit

Last month, three graduate students in Harvard University’s Anthropology department- Margaret G. Czerwienski, Lilia M. Kilburn, and Amulya Mandava – filed a 65-page lawsuit against the university over the way it has handled sexual misconduct complaints involving anthropologist John Comaroff. According to the lawsuit, Camaroff “kissed and groped stu-dents without their consent, made unwelcome sexual advances, and threatened to sabotage students’ careers if they complained. When students reported him to Harvard and sought to warn their peers about him, Harvard watched as he retaliated by foreclosing career paths and ensuring that those students would have ‘trouble getting jobs.’”1

At the centerpiece of the lawsuit are the comments Comaroff made as Ms. Kilburn met him in his office to discuss her planned fieldwork in Africa. Ms. Kilbun recalls how Comaroff graphcally described she “’ would be raped’ or killed in certain parts of Africa” if she chose to do her work field there since she is in a lesbian relationship. Comaroff also reminded Ms. Kilburn of “the power he now wielded over her career,” 2 and as she tried to change adviser to avoid Comaroff, he cut her off from other professors.3

The lawsuit, New York Times writes, is “the latest strike in more than a year of allegations being parried back and forth in the case against Dr. Comaroff”, many of which are documented in The Harvard Crimson, the student newspaper, and The Chronicle of Higher Education. Among them are anonymous allegations dating back to before Comaroff started working at Harvard in 2012.4 According to the lawsuit, during the process of hiring Comaroff, the Chair of Harvard’s Department of African and African American studies was warned by Comaroff’s former students at the University of Chicago, where he was considered a “predator” and a “groomer“. They “could have influenced the hiring decision, supervised Comaroff, or implemented safeguards – and protected Harvard’s students.” Yet they welcomed and “empowered Professor Comaroff,”5 the lawsuit says.

New York Times reports that Comaroff was placed on unpaid leave after the school’s investigations found that he violated sexual harassment and professional conduct policies, “but he was not found responsible for unwanted sexual contact.”6

The lawsuit surfaced many unsettling issues, among them the allegation that Harvard accessed Ms. Kilburn’s private therapy records without her consent and revealed them to Comaroff, who then used them to discredit Ms. Kilburn’s accusation. 7 I will link the lawsuit and a few well-rounded articles about the allegations and how they were handled at the end of this post. Following the case feels like reading an almost real-time case study in Complaint!, and especially has reminded me of the section COMPLAINTS AND COLLEGIALI-TY in the book:

The department was warned about Comaroff’s previous misconduct at the University of Chicago and him being “surrounded by “pervasive allegations of sexual misconduct”. Harvard hired him anyway. 8 “Sometimes you hire people whom you like, or who are like those who are already there. “ 9 Ahmed writes. She notes that a broad instructional problem of harassing and bullying often indicate “an informal or casual culture around hiring”, recalling a lecturer who had told her that people often talk about candidates as “he’s the guy you’d want to have a pint with.”10
“When you make a complaint, you often learn about how power is wielded.”11 before the lawsuit, 38 Harvard faculty members signed an open letter supposedly questioning the process that sanctioned Comaroff. The letter is, however, also a love letter to their “excellent colleague.”

We the undersigned know John Comaroff to be an excellent colleague, advisor and commit-ted university citizen who has for five decades trained and advised hundreds of Ph.D. students of diverse backgrounds, who have subsequently become leaders in universities across the world.12

They also addressed the rape comments, adding that they would be “ethically compelled to offer the same advice” if they were to advise Ms. Kilburn regarding studies in Africa.13 Harvard Law Professor Janet Halley issued a statement calling the comments “legitimate office-hours advice.” Professor Jean Comaroff – yes, Comaroff’s wife – criticized the complaints in her statement as an “attack on academic freedom.”14


“When some colleagues are friends, they are who end up being defended.”15 Ahmed writes. The faculty members jumped to defend their excellent colleague without being informed about the details of the complaints. That’s not my assumption – but their words. Shortly after the lawsuit went public, all but three professors said they wish to retract their names from the letter.16

What has happened? I am making assumptions here – but what if their change of heart and retraction from supporting their predator college was less because they suddenly noticed their lack of information and the impact of their word on the students17, and more about their reputation being on the line? The lawsuit did receive attention, much more than the scattered complaints filed in the previous year. All of a sudden, the discussion was not taking place behind closed doors and between colleagues. People were talking about it on the internet, it was receiving media attention. Harvard is a big name, and the cat is out of the bag. (and has slid through the closing door, smart cat)

According to the lawsuit, Comaroff once compared himself to Harvey Weinstein at a dinner with faculty and graduate students, saying “They’re coming for me next!”18 This is telling of how untouchable he felt. But also, ironically true as in the way his colleagues were quick enough to distance themselves from him when it got clear that the issue is getting out of hand. Such was the case with the disgraced Hollywood mogul.19
His wife, Jean Comaroff, who was also present at the dinner event, later belittled the sexual harassment complaints commenting “Whatever happened to rolling with the punches?” 20


Just roll with the punches. Just loosen up. Feminists: so sex-negative. So uptight. Don’t over-react, don’t be so divisive. 21


Back to the rape comments. The way Comaroff pals and colleague tried to downplay them reminded me of a section in Complaint!, where physical violence towards a student who was trying to “flee” from the office of the head of the department was apparently “on par with a handshake.”22 Comaroff thinking loudly about how his student is going to get raped is described as “legitimate officehour advice”23 As Ahmed writes, “violence can be removed from an action by how an action is described.”24

The lawsuit further criticizes Harvard’s Title IX office, pointing out that the office did not act on complaints regarding Comaroff and has time and again discouraged students going down the formal complaint route: Ms. Czerwienski was told in October 2017 that filing a formal report would be “futile”25 Ms. Kilburn states that her complaints on May 2019 were “was met with predictable indifference”26 , even though the officer knew who Ms. Kilburn wanted to talk about. At a recent demonstration in the Yard Kilburn said “The Title IX system was supposed to be the solution, Instead, it’s become part of the problem.”27


I was listening to the sound of machinery: the clunk, clunk that was telling me that inefficiency is not just the failure of things to work properly but is also how things are working.28


Harvard enabled and protected the predator for years, and that in a field as small as anthropology, where a downvote from a professor as influential as Comaroff could be the end of the academic career.29 only to take action when the students decided to go public.30

As of February 21, several of Harvard’s tenured Anthropology faculty asked. Comaroff to resign, stating that they have “lost confidence” in him as a professor.31

Is this a good ending? I genuinely do not know. One (possibly) destroyed academic career after years and years of predatory and abusive behavior, harassment, ruining careers and lives. What if it was a smaller university? Would the story still have been covered by New York Times or the Guardian? Would “going public” have made a difference?


I end this short report with Czerwienski’s final words at the recent campus demonstration:

We need to keep insisting as loudly as we can, as often as we can, in as many places and to as many people in power as we can, that this system must change.… The University wants us to throw our little rally and go away. But it’s our job to make sure they’ve got another thing coming.32

The Harvard Magazine writes: “A few minutes later, the demonstrators dispersed, amid chants of, ‘We’ll be back, we’ll be back!’”33


Amen.

Recommended Readings:


The complete lawsuit
https://www.thecrimson.com/PDF/2022/2/9/Czerwienski-et-al-v-harvard-filing/


New York Times: A Lawsuit Accuses Harvard of Ignoring Sexual Harassment by a Professor
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/08/us/harvard-sexual-harassment-lawsuit.html


New York Times: After Sexual Harassment Lawsuit, Critics Attack Harvard’s Release of Therapy Records
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/us/harvard-kilburn-therapy-records.html


The Cut: All the Alarming Allegations in Harvard’s Sexual-Harassment Suit
https://www.thecut.com/2022/02/harvard-sued-for-institutional-indifference-to-harassment.html

  1. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, February 9, 2022, 10, https://www.thecrimson.com/PDF/2022/2/9/Czerwienski-et-al-v-harvard-filing/.
  2. Ibid, 20.
  3. Ibid, 5.
  4. Anemona Hartocollis ,“A Lawsuit Accuses Harvard of Ignoring Sexual Harassment by a Professor,” The New York Times, last modified February 9, 2022, last accessed March 06, 2022, https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/08/us/harvard-sexual-harassment-lawsuit.html.
  5. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 11.
  6. The New York Times, “A Lawsuit Accuses Harvard of Ignoring Sexual Harassment by a Professor”
  7. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 33.
  8. Ibid, 9.
  9. Sara Ahmed, Complaint! (Durham: Duke University Press, 2021), 189.
  10. Ibid.
  11. Ahmed, Complaint! , 190.
  12. Isabella B. Cho and Ariel H. Kim,“38 Harvard Faculty Sign Open Letter Questioning Results of Misconduct Investigations into Prof. John Comaroff” The Harvard Crimson, February 2, 2022, last accessed March 06, 2022, https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2022/2/4/comaroff-sanctions-open-letter/.
  13. Ibid.
  14. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 39.
  15. Ahmed, Complaint! , 190.
  16. Ariel H. Kim and Meimei Xu,“35 Harvard Professors Retract Support for Letter Questioning Results of Comaroff Investigations” The Harvard Crimson, Last modified February 11, 2022, last accessed March 06, 2022, https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2022/2/10/comaroff-faculty-letter-retraction/.
  17. Ibid.
  18. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 18.
  19. “Harvey Weinstein’s allies distance themselves as allegations grow,” October 11, 2017, video, https://www.cbsnews.com/video/harvey-weinstein-allies-distance-themselves-as-allegations-grow/.
  20. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 18.
  21. Ahmed, Complaint! , 248.
  22. Ibid , 168.
  23. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 39.
  24. Ahmed, Complaint! , 180.
  25. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 17.
  26. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 23.
  27. Lydialile Gibson,“Lawsuit Alleges Harvard Mishandled Harassment Complaints” The Harvard Magazine, February 16, 2022, last accessed March 06, 2022, https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2022/02/lawsuit-alleges-harvard-mishandled-harassment-complaints-against-john-comaroff.
  28. Ahmed, Complaint! , 94.
  29. Czerwienski et al. v. Harvard, 65.
  30. Ibid.
  31. Meimei Xu,“15 Harvard Anthropology Professors Call on Comaroff to Resign Over Sexual Harassment Allegations” The Harvard Crimson, February 21, 2022, last accessed March 06, 2022,https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2022/2/21/anthropology-faculty-call-for-comaroff-resignation/.
  32. Lydialile Gibson,“Lawsuit Alleges Harvard Mishandled Harassment Complaints”
  33. Ibid.
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basic book complaints example

I am (finally) complaining. Somehow.

Hello

This book and the time I spent reading this book were a ride. Here are the thoughts I gathered as a first approach to comment it and what I have learnt from it. I hope you enjoy it.
As Mohombi said once “It’s gonna be a bumpy ride” [1]

I am late. This post is late.
I should have done this way earlier.
I should have started with this way before.
But I started on time, way back. It is just that it never showed.
I feel bad about this delay. This should not have been this way. What happened?
But I do not want to complain about this. Or shall I? No, no. I will not complain because that would mean to excuse myself in a way I do not want. But on the other hand the things that make my excuses for being late are things I really do not like. I am drained from those things.
This is not an apology. What is this then?


But these are just excuses and if I excuse myself I don’t like this feeling. I do not like it because I feel that I carry a burden and I do not want to carry a burden. But I carry it anyway. Also, who would care. I am just late. It is not such a big deal. It is mainly me who feels bad about it. Get over it. Grow a pair or something like that.

Ah but please do not be that hard on yourself. Treat yourself with care.
How can I take care of myself in order to improve without damage. How can I stop the voice that hits me in my head. It is not such a big deal, isn’t it.

It is hard for me to understand the limits of the complain and the whine (I will talk about this in another moment). Maybe I do not know what complaint is. I think I am biased because I consider the majority of my complaints never managed to work. They were formal and informal ones. Sometimes I think I do not think I believe in complaints.

This book makes me angry and makes me sad and makes me feel useless and not enough. That was probably not the purpose of it. But I feel personally attacked and I do not enjoy it. What is happening. What is this. I feel a big discomfort and I am filled with unease. I should have complained in a proper way and I never did. I should have shared it in that moment, now it will be useless.
But also…Why am I complaining? I should be grateful, it is not that bad, just live with it. In other times this was harder, not it is way better.
The adult voices that were implemented in my soft head now repeat inside of it. But I managed to dodge this adult voices in my adolescence, I was strong. Why can’t I take them out now? How did they pierce my skull? Why do I hear them? I was stronger.

What I learnt from this readings is an avalanche of nuisance because I feel small in a hostile world. Because I know the world is made up by institutions (institutions called structures) and they are not made for us. They are made by us but do not cooperate with us. What is this gap? Why when a big structure is created it starts lacking tenderness? I am afraid of big structures. But everything is a structure. I am afraid I am part of a structure.

————————————————————————

I consider this was a complaint, somehow the worst kind of complaint, the non-effective complaint, the whining type. But I have complained and I have complained about the fact that I have complained as well. Therefore, am I carrying two burdens now?

[1] Khayat, N, Salmanzadeh, I, Hajji, B, Jannusi, B (2010). Bumpy ride [Recorded by Mohombi]. On MoveMeant [Audio file]. Retrieved from https://open.spotify.com/track/71R6zJsrF3ffc3TBFHfivX?si=320b4eff09904bd4

Categories
art complaints thoughts

CHALK BACK

Categories
book chapter complaints example general ideas thoughts

II: The Professional Complaining Career

Big gratitude to all those enthusiastic people that have made complaining such a rewarding activity.

T.Kalleinen & O.Kochta Kalleinen
Bauhaus Complaints Choir project 2022
Nadja Kracunovic & Margarita Garcia

Opening the door of the radical wardrobe

From the very beginning of my professional complaining career in winter 2021, I traveled with the book of S.Ahmed and my little diary through everyday situations. At first, I took advantage of the Complainitivism blog to store there everything I could not in other places. Safe-travels blogging. I embraced the chance to hang out in the cheap hostels in Cairo, my WG in Weimar, and different flats and places I inhabited since that stimulated my writings. I remember most of my life I was so loud in complaining, loving it, and hating it simultaneously. On the other hand, it was such a good tool to protect not just me, but also somebody who could be bullied due to no voice. It means transforming the voice into something useful instead of using it for something that empowers the ego. Me, the protector, the rescuer – the one that provides space, I pictured. It already happened – entering the world of displeasure through the texts, and diving into the whole new world of complaining as art practice. There was the moment when the book divider cut Sara Ahmed’s piece in half, somewhere around Occupied spaces in Part IV, and I felt precisely the task I had – to take care of the voices pragmatically instead of theoretically. To give complaints somewhere to go and open the door. The same day I decided to propose a project called Bauhaus Complaints Choir.

Something

Something itchy decisively and loudly screams from the bodies of these young people – I thought after the first Complaintivsm live session. Emotions and openness were splashing the walls of the institution, group therapy as if nothing will exist after it. The respect for my wonderful colleagues, it is my true pleasure to share the walls with them, while pretending that the walls do not exist. How will we proceed? How to root out the issues we mentioned there and eradicate the origin of the problem? This was the basis for the cabinet I imagined creating. The place of the singing drawers, a closet full of thoughts. The words that gravitate towards the reform and aim to dissolve the complex procedures.

BCC (Bauhaus Complaints Choir) is an experimental chorus aiming to structure and coordinate the complaints within the institution. While giving a space for the voices of the students, professors, and all employees of our university, I and my colleague Margarita Garcia decided on creating the lyrics out of the complaints we receive. Making a complaint within the institution often requires reflecting on it. BCC is a cabinet for both institutionally and privately held complaints. Allof them are welcome. The music follows the dynamics of the writings, combining global, indigenous, dispossessed, classic, and experimental.

Nothing

I must share a sort of disappointment regarding the response within the BCC (Bauhaus Complaints Choir) open call, that weirdly hurt me. My fragile ego was mixing the anger, protest, sadness, and actual result of the call. For weeks there was no complaint on the form. I wondered what is the problem? There must be something standing between a person who is about to voice their displeasure and me building a cabinet and waiting for it. Is there a bug in the system, a mistake in the approach?

‘’Hey Nadja, this rocks. ‘’
‘’Bravo, I hope you get a lot of complaints.’’
‘’This is such an important project! ‘’
‘’Girl, this is what this university needs.’’

…but no complaint was appearing on our form, nor being dropped in the mail. No letter, no notification, no displeasure. It might be that I have made a piece of marketing, a product, and lost its actual objective on the way. One person even texted me that she would like to participate, but she really does not have anything to complain about. Even an apology followed this statement. I was feeding the air, the social media, and idea, but not the people, I suppose. On the other hand, there was this question: Are we so overwhelmed with the individual, inner complaints that the task to complain somewhere else, outside, feels like one more errand? I do understand this. I do not blame. I am, myself, having way too many on my list.

However, some complaints made BCC’s idea fight for its existence in my head, still taking the failure as the legitimate and integral part of the process. At some point, the letters started appearing – the response came from the crowd.

Additionally:

“If you have to complain because of failed processes, you have to enter yet more failed processes.”
S.Ahmed

If I am about to create a real cabinet for the complaints, I should take care of it in the best possible way. I have to learn from the empty spaces in the form, as much from the filled ones. Moreover, it is just the beginning of BCC’s radical wardrobe, and the door has just opened.

Valituskuoro: Who sings the things?

Valituskuoro: Who sings the things?

The world of diverse voices amazes me. From the collective art performances to the theater stage happening, I was always a big devotee and admirer of this kind of noise. Except for the melody of the crow, I am in love with complaining as a sport of choice. Therefore, I started searching for enthusiasts in the same field.

In the Finnish vocabulary, there is the expression “Valituskuoro (literally ‘’Complaints Choir’’) and it is used to describe situations where a lot of people are complaining simultaneously. In my research, I found the two names that are taking this expression seriously.

Studio Kalleinen projects

Complaint

It is my true pleasure to introduce the artist duo Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen and Tellervo Kalleinen, Helsinki-based contemporary artists working with cinema, installation, performance, and events. In their practice, they attempt to merge the languages and approaches of several disciplines, such as film, performance, game design, experimental education, facilitation, social architecture, and alternative economies. They construct situations and invite people to join her for collective adventures.

Complaints choirs took place in primary schools, streets, churches, villages, and big cities… Complainers started their movement worldwide. Better said, they occupied spaces.

Another example is The Resistance Revival Chorus from New York that introduces themselves as activists exploring music and musicians exploring activism. RRC is a collective of more than 60 women and non-binary singers, who join together to breathe joy and song into the resistance and to uplift and center women’s voices. Chorus members are touring musicians, film and television actors, Broadway performers, solo recording artists, gospel singers, political activists, educators, filmmakers, artists, and more, representing a multitude of identities, professions, creative backgrounds, and activist causes. And we have now the BCC (Bauhaus Complaints Choir) that exists in specific time and space. We are students, designers, artists, filmmakers, supervisors, tutors, professors, activists, protesters, everyday people. We are the diverse voices of a particular context and we aim to voice up.

Say complaint – and there I am, building my professional complaining career.

To participate in the Bauhaus Complaints Choir, please enter here.

Sincerely, informally, with the pleasure. Yours,

Categories
art complaints example exhibition general ideas thoughts

БЕЗНАЂЕ (BEZNADJE)

This fairytale is a well-established concept, an interpretation, and the invention of the main protagonist of the story.

“My poor little Nadja, I wish I could scoop up your remains every time you fall apart,” she said, addressing herself, facing the text her thoughts had just woven.

The story consists of a bunch of words in English, many complaints, self-criticism, world criticism, global politics, conflicts, and personal reflections. Its content is not actually a story at all. It is more of a fake, fictional etymology of the Serbian word “beznadje” which started all this textual fuss.

Hunger, acrylic on plywood, 50x70cm
2017
©Nadja Kracunovic

ONE AND ONLY CHAPTER:
ALL THE LET’S

Neoliberal capitalism breeds charming little monsters. My name is Nadja, welcome to my overexistence.

There is a word in my mother tongue, a word in which I had planted my ego years ago and have watered it ever since. In Serbian, we say beznadje / beznađe meaning hopelessness or more precisely: without hope. This compound combines the word bez (without) with my beautiful name (Nadja), by coincidence. The world without Nadja makes me sad. Sometimes I blame my small, generous family for splashing so much love onto me. You are guilty of my ego plantation and egocentric perspective. You made me overexist. There are times when I miss them so much that being so far away from their warm, loving bodies tears me apart. Time has shown me that they are the creators of the most beautiful and disgusting things that my being consists of. Let’s discuss it in my monologue.

My anxiety is reversed. Instead of, as a hedgehog or a snail, squeezing my face inwards, I go for more of what makes me anxious in the first place. Instead of covering my face with an emergency blanket, I apply for a new open call, I make a new friend, and I make new art. I overwhelm myself, volunteering for my own destruction. I stretch my body on the ceilings of contexts I do not even belong. It hurts so damn much being a captive of your own brain. It makes me feel trapped, stupid, unable to progress. I have been hanging on this clothesline ever since, and it seems I won’t pick up my clothes soon. Let me dry.

Beznadje, acrylic on cardboard, 50x25cm
2019
©Nadja Kracunovic

I am tired of being excited. Recently I asked my mom if I was born like this. I believe I was: strongly into everything along the way, wanting, eager for everywhere and everyone, not belonging, not existing for real, never loving anybody but their love for me, never accepting anything that does not benefit me in some way… The vicious cycle of every, any, every. The excited monster always wants to see another garden and love another flower. I am a factory. My production is unbelievably fast, so is my consumption. However, I do understand this method of mine very well, I simply fear not having the options. If I get one NO, there is something about to be a YES. If he leaves me, there is another HE loving me in the background. If you make me choose just one, I will disappear from it, whatever it is. I am a union of the contexts and queen of my clothing. I am not one, but plural. Let me be swallowed by my monsters, it is the only way to survive.

I thought about the book title that I might write if I switch from art to popular psychology book title copywriting. “How to plant, cultivate, and water your multiple egos”. Best-seller, right? I would give a course on multitasking, productive puma advice, and self-destruction, inevitably. And what is with me and this puma thing? I do compare myself to a black panther on a daily basis. Let me be the best there is in the capitalist jungle.

Yesterday I cried my face off while jogging through a German landscape. It felt like it was about to explode. I am not sure what exactly, but I felt its shape right above my bladder, growing and pulsing. Like a creature. I gave birth inside my belly. The pregnant puma is starting to feel the pain. It hurts so much. It pierces and paralyzes me. I cannot do this anymore. Stretched over my red sofa, I tried to collect the puzzle pieces and get through the fog I found myself surrounded with. It felt so blurry that I didn’t even know how to carry myself from the sofa over to my bed in the corner. It took my excited body and it suffocated me. How can I live in this world without Nadja? If she becomes tired and sad, what is this all about? She hurts me, she is killing me. I want her to calm down and pick up the fucking clothes.

Puma needs to sleep for the time being. Now, let me breathe and sing Nadja a lullaby.

Categories
complaints thoughts

Manufacturing Defect

I was born with a condition. At 33 years old, I still have one baby tooth. The other one didn’t come because it didn’t feel like it or maybe it had better things to do. This condition does not let me enjoy food like others. This condition made me envious. But who do you complain to when what doesn’t work was already in you? I can’t bite from the front, I have to do it with my right side. Doctors say it’s better to take care of it as much as I can, rather than replace it. But I am hungry to eat with my left side.

Categories
art complaints general thoughts

dIARY OF A sUICIDE

“I’m not going to complain today, because I have wonderful people surrounding me”

14.01.22
Categories
art complaints genre

“There is no future, but at least there is coffee”.

There is no future, but at least there is coffee.
Not the kind of coffee they sell in fancy places.
Not the kind my mother used to make.
There is no future, but at least there are shoes.
Not those comfortable shoes.
Not even uncomfortable ones, but sexy ones.
There is no future, but at least there is music.
The kind that makes me dance, makes me sweat, makes me stink.
There is no future but there is saliva. Of the slippery kind that makes me retch
and the dry kind when there are no more words.
There is no future but at least the printer works.
After ten tries and even though the cartridges were full.

#stopcomplaining