Category: general

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book complaints general ideas thoughts

Complaining about the weather – about productive and unproductive complaining

Remember how during our first session in class we talked about productive complaining?

Well, please let me do the complete opposite today and just complain, 

because I really feel like complaining.

First of all, its winter.

People hate winter.

It is dark, it is cold, the days are so short,

but it’s also a nice topic to complain about every day.

Normally when I feel the need to complain I talk to my mother.

She is the “complaint-receiver” of the family. 

After a hard day of working, she comes home, where she finds 10 missed calls from her 4 children and a husband, everybody ready to lay off the burden they collected all day long.

But I could not reach her.

Please let me complain here about what we don’t want to talk about anymore:

I want to complain about the ongoing pandemic. I want to complain about my mental state that has pulled me into a down again. I want to complain about humanity still not able to deal with social injustices and climate change. I want to complain about the weather.  

But, who to address this to?

Some things are (seem?) too big to complain about productively.

All you are left with is just complaining.

This makes me think about whether we have never learned how to complain productively within the right structure. Watching a lecture from Sara Ahmed I found it interesting when she talked about certain procedures that are applied when you voice your concern to the official complaint procedures of institutions. They receive you, they listen to you, they nod, and they say yes. They say yes, they will accept your complaint and deal with it. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction. You were able to let off steam, you feel like you have advanced in your process of dealing with your issue. But then nothing happens. You went through the whole procedure, but in the end, you sent the file and by filing it you might put it to rest forever. The problem is that going through the whole procedure gives you a feeling of being active and of accomplishment without something happening for real. Because what happens from the part of the complaint-receiver is simple “nonperformaty”. There is a gap between what is supposed to happen (according to policies and procedures) and what is really happening1. You have to push institutions to follow their own policies and even then, it can take a lot of time as they hope that by time you will just let go. Hence in the end, all you did was letting off steam: an explosion is avoided by the one that receives the complaint2. By filing your complaint, you got a feeling of being productive even though in fact you were not.

When I think about it, I suspect the same thing happens when you complain to friends instead of directing the problem to the subject involved. I do think that it is very important to talk to your friends about weighs you down: you will realize you are not alone and learn to sort out your thoughts before you impulsively address them. But the problem might be that you complain so much to your friends and just anyone that you might not feel the urge to complain to the right person anymore. The complaint is never received, the steam is off, but nothing has changed: unproductive complaining.

Part of the issue might be that often you just don’t know who to address your complaint to. I have to be honest and say that before reading this book, I was not even aware that there are places where you could hand your issues to. And this is for sure again part of the problem why complaints are not officially dealt with. There is no general awareness of what to do when you find yourself in a state that is unbearable, where you or someone else is wronged, where you are looking for change. Looking at complaining and seeking change in within institutions there is strangeness in the aspect that there are in fact procedures set up for complaints, but it seems like everything is done for you to not use them and if you come to the point of using them, they seem to prevent themselves. Complaint-procedures are not accessible. “A complaint procedure is how you learn what to do, where to go, in order to make a complaint.”3 Before you can get through with a complaint you have to work your way through the fog of knowing how to do it. This is why you might not do it at all. And the less these procedures are used, the harder they are to find.

We need to learn how to make complaining accessible. We need to learn how to complain productively. Because for now complaints seems to be done to prevent us from complaining. 

Is our system not made to receive complaints because it is not made for change?

1 See: Ahmed, S. (2021): Complaint!, p.28.

2 See: Sara Ahmed, Complaint as Diversity Work, Joan S. Korenman Lecture, March 2019, ab min 8:15.

3 Ahmed, S, (2021): Complaint!, p.31.

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basic book chapter general

Weder die verschlingende noch die klaffende, weder die unsichtbare noch die unbeachtete, weder die drohende noch die unschließbare Lücke, sondern die Lücke, die erkannt und anerkannt wird.

„Mind the Gap“ ist das Bildmotiv der ersten Abbildung innerhalb von Sara Ahmeds Buch „Complaint!“, auf Seite 30: Zu sehen ist in einer Ansicht von oben der, in ein Bodenmosaik eingelassene Schriftzug „MIND THE GAP“ an einer Bahnsteigkante; am oberen Bildrand sind noch die Zuggleise zu sehen. Die Bildunterschrift lautet: „The gap between what is supposed to happen and what does happen.“ (Die Kluft zwischen dem, was geschehen soll, und dem, was tatsächlich geschieht.) 

Dieser Satz bezieht sich auf Ahmeds Beobachtung von Beschwerdevorgängen auf der gleichen Seite des Buches: Hier fällt etwas nicht in eins, und zwar dasjenige, was mittels einer Beschwerde in Übereinstimmung mit den Richtlinien und Verfahren geschehen soll, und dasjenige, was tatsächlich geschieht. Zwischen beidem, dem Soll und dem Ist, klafft eine Lücke. Diese Lücke sei „dicht bevölkert“ („densely populated“, S. 30), heisst es im Fließtext oberhalb der Abbildung, ihr solle Aufmerksamkeit geschenkt werden: „Sich um die Lücke zu kümmern, bedeutet, zuzuhören und von denjenigen zu lernen, die einen Prozess erleben.“ („to mind the gap is to listen and to learn from those who experience a process.“, ebd.)

„Achten Sie auf die Lücke“ lautet der Sicherheitshinweis, der an den Stationen der Londoner U-Bahn zu sehen und als Durchsage zu hören ist, ein Warnhinweis an die Passagiere, nicht in die Lücke zwischen Bahnsteig und Türschwelle der U-Bahn zu fallen. „Mind the Gap“ lautet auch der Slogan der London Student Feminists der Universität London, hier allerdings mit dem Aufruf, den Unterschied der Geschlechter zu wertschätzen und zu fördern. Ein Satz, zwei Anwendungen, zwei Bedeutungen: die eine, auf die Lücke zu achten, um sie zu überwinden, die anderen, die Lücke zu achten, um sie anzuerkennen. Ahmeds Variante kombiniert sowohl den Warnhinweis als auch die Respektbekundung miteinander: Sich um die Lücke zu kümmern, bedeutet zunächst einmal, sie zu erkennen, um sie dann anzuerkennen. 

Dass diese Botschaft mit der Schwarz-Weiss-Abbildung der Londoner Underground im Bahnhof Victoria visualisiert ist, in dem U-Bahn-Stationen auf unterschiedlichen Höhenniveaus und in unterschiedlicher Bauweise aufeinander treffen, deutet auf Ahmeds Interesse für die operative Ebene ihres Themas „Complaint!“ hin: Wie treffen welche (Kultur-, Institutions-, Sprach-) Techniken aufeinander, wie können sie aneinander anschließen oder anschließbar gemacht werden, ohne ihre Differenzen zu nivellieren? Wie können Differenzen nicht ignoriert werden, wie können Differenzen als Differenzen anerkannt werden, ohne sie zur Differenz zu stigmatisieren? Wie können Verschließungen (von Lücken) stattfinden, ohne sie zu verschließen, sondern sie entverschlossen zu halten? „Mind the Gap“ heißt mit Ahmed: Beachte und achte die Lücke.

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basic book general thoughts

Am I allowed to complain? – about being privileged enough to complain and not being privileged enough to complain

I would like to start this post by stating: Everyone is allowed to complain, anytime, anywhere, concerning any issue.

What does this sentence provoke in you? Do you agree? Do you disagree?

I myself have to say that I am not so sure about this, even though I am also not so sure who should be deciding over this. Complaining means expressing discontent or dissatisfaction about something, making an accusation, stating that something is (done) wrong. I want to specify here that I will focus on complaining when you are treated unfairly, such as for example by a person, a procedure, or an institution. 

Who is allowed to complain? A complaint starts with the reason why you want to complain, and this reason starts with a feeling. A feeling of something being wrong: feeling hurt, suffocated, excluded, offended, hence unfairly treated. And this is where it already gets complicated. “Am I allowed to complain?” starts with a: “Am I allowed to feel wronged?”. The fact that it is so difficult to define right or wrong, especially when emotions are involved, makes the whole process somewhat subjective and easily determined in the end by whoever is in power (with this often being whoever you complain about). So, who decides over right or wrong? The complainer or the “being-complaint-to”? 

Who is allowed to complain? The right to complain is also a matter of privilege. On this issue there is a conflict between the fact that some people are too privileged to complain and some not privileged enough to get through with a complaint. Are you the right person to complain? While going through with a complaint “we learn how only some ideas are heard if they are deemed to come from the right people; right can be white.”1 There is absurdity in the fact that if you are in the position to make a complaint, hence if you are suffering under certain power relations that put you in an unjust situation, you are most probably not being heard. “You might not feel confident that your complaint is being taken seriously when your complaint is about not being taken seriously.”2 Thus when you chose to complain you take a huge risk, which might lead to self-damage. More than often, you are already in a precarious situation and can’t afford to lose your job or hurt your image. If you find yourself in this situation, you might be reminded of your dependence on the one you want to complain to. Hence your issue is not being taken seriously by those in power to do something about it. In addition to this “complaints are more likely to be received well when they are made by those in power.”3 Those who are already more influential are more likely to get through with their complaint. This is widening the already existing inequality gab in hierarchies.

Who is allowed to complain? Those who are heard are those who are in the “right” place to complain: those in a stable state, those with enough power, those who have the right connections, those with the resources to do so. But isn’t it ironic that when you find yourself in a situation of suffering, without support, and hence file a complaint, you are not supported by the system? And if you are in the “right” place to complain you are actually not really in the right place to complain, meaning the reason why you complain might not be that severe, because you don’t find yourself in a precarious situation. 

In conclusion when is complaining justified? When is your state alarming and legitime enough to be entitled to do so? When are you well enough positioned to complain? When are you allowed to take away people’s oh-so-precious time to criticize and tackle the system they are so desperately trying to uphold? To complain is to make yourself vulnerable. Be aware of the burden that comes your way, whether it is the burden of your privilege to be able to do so, or your struggle or even your inability to get through with it.

1 Ahmed, S. (2021): Complaint! 2021, p.6.

2 ebd., p.21.

3 ebd., p.24.

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basic complaints example general

[ˈjamɐlapn̩]

Das Wort „Complainer“ wird in Übersetzungsmaschinen neben „Beschwerdeführer“ auch als „Jammerlappen“ [ˈjamɐlapn̩] übersetzt. „Jammerlappen“ bezeichnet umgangssprachlich abwertend eine Person, die sich wehleidig über etwas beklagt. In Wictionary wird „Jammerlappen“ als „Flasche, Heulsuse, Schlappschwanz, Würstchen“ übersetzt, im Woxikon als „Pfeife, Loser, Taugenichts, Krücke, feiger Mensch, Unfähiger Weichling“. Zur Etymologie heißt es bei DWDS: „Jammerlappen m. ‘wehleidig klagender Mensch, Feigling’ (berlin. 19. Jh.), eigentlich (scherzhaft) ‘das zum Abwischen der Tränen benutzte Taschentuch’.“, hier heißt es zur Bedeutung: „feiger, willensschwacher Mensch“. Der Duden schreibt: „allzu ängstlicher, feiger Mensch, der sich alles gefallen lässt und nicht aufzubegehren wagt“ und informiert zur Herkunft: „ursprünglich = Tuch zum Abwischen der Tränen, dann auf seinen Benutzer übertragen“. 

Dieses Übersetzungsergebnis des Wortes „Complainer“ in die deutsche Sprache durch Übersetzungsmaschinen macht Diskriminierungsprozesse sichtbar, die zum einen über den Vorgang des Übersetzens stattfinden und zum anderen durch den Einsatz von Codes verursacht werden, wobei Diskrimierungen im Code mit einem Anschein technischer Neutralität umso wirksamer sind. Diese Beobachtungen machen Gründe sichtbar, warum sich zu beschweren bedeutet, so Ahmed, nicht gehört zu werden: „To be heard as complaining is not to be heard.“ (Ahmed 2021, S. 1). Wer schenkt sein/ihr Ohr jemandem, der als ein „Jammerlappen“ stigmatisiert ist und dessen Beschwerden damit herabgewürdigt und erniedrigt werden? 

Deshalb meine Beschwerde am 17.11.2021 an ein KI-System, an DeepL Translator, info(at)deepl.com:

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

wir möchten Sie gern darüber informieren, dass wir bei unserer Arbeit an der Bauhaus-Universität Weimar zu dem Buch „Complaint!“ von Sara Ahmed https://bkb.eyes2k.net/BauhausUni-2021-22-S2.html festgestellt haben, dass das Übersetzungssystem deepL den englischen Begriff „complainer” u. a. in den deutschen Begriff des abwertenden „Jammerlappen“ übersetzt.

Da es in dem Buch und unserem Seminar unter anderem darum geht, Ablehnungen, Barrieren und Widerstände gegen das Beschweren und gegen Beschwerden zu reflektieren, möchte ich Sie stellvertretend für mein Seminar gern um eine Stellungnahme hierzu bitten. Denn hier scheint es sich um ein Beispiel für eine Diskrimierung im Code zu handeln, die in dem Anschein technischer Neutralität umso wirksamer ist?

Danke & freundliche Grüße

DeepL, Customer Support Specialist I Support, antwortete mit am 22.11.2021:

Sehr geehrte Frau Kleine-Benne, 

vielen Dank, dass Sie uns kontaktiert haben. 

Es tut uns leid zu hören, dass Sie auf diese Fehlübersetzung gestoßen sind. 

Möglicherweise liegt das Problem darin, dass es sich um ein Wort ohne Kontext handelt. Aus diesem Grund raten wir in der Regel davon ab, einzelne Wörter zu übersetzen. Am besten ist es, das Wort zusammen in seinem Kontext zu übersetzen, da unser Übersetzer in der Regel den Kontext überprüft, um eine bessere Übersetzung zu liefern. Selbstverständlich werden wir Ihr Feedback an unsere Entwickler weiterleiten, um die zukünftige Verbesserung unserer Übersetzungsmaschine zu ermöglichen.

Außerdem möchte ich Sie darüber informieren, dass unser Übersetzer nicht mit den Übersetzungen von Kunden lernt, sondern mit Hilfe unserer Sprachexperten und unserer Algorithmen. Außerdem gibt es für einzelne Begriffe je nach Kontext unterschiedliche korrekte Übersetzungen. Daher kann es leider vorkommen, dass unser Übersetzer eine unpassende Übersetzung auswählt.

Wie Sie z. B. unten sehen können, wird das Wort complainer als Beschwerdeführer übersetzt, aber Beschwerdeführerin wird auch als Alternative angeboten.

Vielen Dank für Ihre Geduld. Sollten Sie noch Fragen haben, zögern Sie bitte nicht, uns erneut zu kontaktieren. Ich wünsche Ihnen einen schönen Tag im Namen des gesamten DeepL-Teams.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen

Ich habe daraufhin am 23.11.2021 Folgendes geantwortet:

Sehr geehrter xx,

zunächst vielen Dank für Ihre Antwort.

Sie haben Recht, dass das Übersetzungsergebnis des isolierten Wortes zu genau diesen Ergebnissen führt, die Sie in Ihrem angehängten .png abgefragt haben.

Ich möchte Sie dennoch bitten, sich noch einmal den folgenden Satz von deepl übersetzen zu lassen, um zu sehen, dass es sich nicht nur um ein Kontextproblem (bzw. um ein Entkontextualisierungsproblem) handelt: “You can become a complainer because of where you locate the problem. To become a complainer is to become the location of a problem.“

Danke, dass Sie unsere Beobachtung an Ihre Entwickler*innen weiterleiten,

freundliche Grüße

Wird eine Fortsetzung folgen?

Nachtrag: Am gleichen Abend des 23.11.2021 erhielt ich die folgende Antwort:

Sehr geehrte Frau Kleine-Benne, 

vielen Dank für Ihre Rückmeldung. 

Manchmal kann es immer noch vorkommen, dass unsere automatische Übersetzungsmaschine Übersetzungsfehler macht. Wir werden Ihr Feedback an unser Team weiterleiten, um die zukünftige Verbesserung unserer Übersetzungsmaschine zu ermöglichen.

Vielen Dank für Ihre Geduld. Sollten Sie noch Fragen haben, zögern Sie bitte nicht, uns erneut zu kontaktieren. Ich wünsche Ihnen einen schönen Tag im Namen des gesamten DeepL-Teams.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen

Categories
art complaints example general thoughts

Voicing displeasure #3 The Code of Visibility

I believe that invisibility for Him made me urge the visibility everywhere else. I must be loud. I must be seen. Spreading the presence wherever I can, proving my existence while being unrepeatable, unique, ubiquitous. You made me visible by hiding me. But watch out, I do have this voice.

The night felt long and exhausting. After I woke up this morning, there was a spit of trauma on my pillow. It is like many others very blurry, but while writing it I sharpen and sculpt it.

I am a parasite, poster poem
©Nadja Kracunovic

WALLS, DRINKS, CODES, AND SCREAMS

The bar was divided by many walls and halls as if it is an apartment adapted to a so-called place for celebrations. It felt as if the whole family and family from a family were standing in that celebration room. The blurry-faced shapes of human bodies, that presented my close friends were behind the celebration wall, with me, drinking vodka in a very hesitated, thirsty manner. In reality, I never drink vodka, but there I am – as drunk as Cooter Brown, celebrating. I can very well recognize the sound of Him through the walls – drunk as well, heavy smoker’s tone, intense and boisterous voice.

The agony entered the celebration room immediately after I did. Greeting the family (probably mine) and kissing the cheeks of the men that I have never seen before. The sweaty, muscular bodies are welcoming and celebrating my arrival – me being there after so long. At that very moment, I recognized just the figure of my little half-brother that I see for the second time. And then, He appeared. To be more precise in the description of this sibling relationship, the only thing we share is exactly Him. Approaching me confidently, bringing by each step this before-the-storm feeling. I trembled the celebration out of my skin. The scream was there coming from His mouth, manifesting years of anger – outrage irritated by my existence. Why is He furious? Shouting and breaking the glasses in front of my fragile, never-used-to-be-screamed-at body. I was the most visible and invisible person in the room. After more than 15 years of absence, He appears and yells all his masculinity at the female offspring. I could not hear the words, it was too loud to understand them. Fifteen years transformed into a simple spillage of anger. That might be the scream of becoming a father for the first time. At least to me.

All the girls in the world, unite. My code is being loud, being visible. My code is being patient and listening. My code is never ever in my life abandoning you, whoever you will be. My code is being strong like She is. The code of mine is taking care of the children, all the children of the world. My code has a voice must use it.

Nadja’s father (Serbian: Nadjin tata), the handmade doll
©Nadja Kracunovic

But, who wants to pass through me, must pass through my room. I yelled back. I screamed my face off, turning purple and spitting the sentences in His face while saying the words I can not understand. I am not a small girl to be shouted at – I am this deep voice that grew up from a child you never wanted.

After one drink
I turn pink
I scream for Him
My body blinks.

To get it all out,
I need some weeks
Increasing my voice
To fight the beast.

After just one drink
I scream to protect
I turn pink
And there comes my act.

I am a parasite,
I am the stain
I exist so much
that He can not obtain.

Voice up the visibility. Pierce the authority.
Categories
art book general thoughts

A drop in the bucket – about feeling disillusioned and gaining hope

Making a complaint can evoke a feeling of futility.

Giving so much, receiving so little.

Like a drop in the ocean, 

dissolving in a system that has not been waiting for your concern. 

Like a drop on a hot stone, 

dissipating with a hiss in a system not willing to see its own wrongs.

Like a drop in the bucket,

adding another one, and another,

until you are dried out.

The drop, the hiss, not heard, 

rendered invisible, inaudible, by the institutional barriers.1

Drop after drop,

until you end up dropping your complaints.

Making a complaint can drain you.

It’s exhausting, while what you complain about is already exhausting.2

Soon you realize that there are certain rules that define if you will be heard.

You have to find the right paths,

paths made so entangled; they seem to be made in order for you not to find them.

A paperwork so user unfriendly, as if build to avoid its own purpose.3

In fact, you even have to be right person to complain, 

and often if you are in a position where you need to complain,

you are not that right person.4

Making a complaint can disillusion you and your belief that you have a saying in a system.

How many drops do we need to break the barriers of institutions?

How many drops do we need to be heard by those who cover their ears?

Those avoiding seeing their mistakes, not willing to allow change. 

How many drops do we need to create a river that forms its way through the impassable structures of institutions? 

We might need so many drops.

Making a complaint can be very painful

But sharing pain can be a relief,

sharing energy can be empowering. 

Let’s unite, hear those who complain, join their voice,

Let the rain fall,

let the drops become one.

Making a complaint can bring about sea change.

“A drop is just a drop is just a drop

until she meets another

combined they run together

she rinses stone, gets through walls, she crosses borders, never holds

until all the drops become one

big deep blue

where every drop

is just a drop

is just a drop

is just a drop” 

Faraway friends – Intro (Rain is coming)

1 See: Ahmed, S. (2021): Complaint! 2021, p.6.

2 See: ebd., p.5

3 See: ebd., p.31

4 See: ebd., p.4

Categories
art example general

Voicing displeasure #2 The Professional Cry

Salty liquid. The sea of the eye lobe. Isn’t it absolutely the same as going to pee? Goes in – goes out. I drop the tears and let them unite into the army. Teary tear, just be.

There was me and four girls from Iran, by coincidence. We were trying to empower our feminity and learn to say NO. We said NO many times in these three hours. I almost broke into the tiniest thousand pieces of human flesh. I tried not to. Never show the instability, delicacy and fragile persona. Drop the humor, start the joke. It is not professional to cry.

NO, digital poster ©Nadja Kracunovic


The third girl said that she feels this socially constructed burden and pressure of being the ideal worker, the best one in the world. The best one in the class. The best one in the bed. The best from the best. Best beast in the wildness.

Me? I bumped into the presence of the physical objects being inside my body because my clock tik-tak-ed and it was time to drop it. What is this pile of thorns which pierce my stomach?

You are not allowed to be a pussy. You are not allowed to be a pussy.
If you are going to be a pussy, be the best one you can possibly be.

Cry holders, digital drawing ©Nadja Kracunovic

Crying my best

There is a cave inside my chest,
little yellow stone, in my own trap.
Hold it up, bravely
Let it shape and progress.

There is desert inside my belly,
blown away from the West.
I tried to protect it,
by sheltering it with my legs.

Nevertheless,
I AM THE BEAST.
I must hold it up,
until I increase.

Melting the cave
into the cheese,
licking the floor
with my fragile knees.

I wanted to scream,
from the bottom of my feet.

My tears.
My precious tears.

The end of it is almost there, near.
Hold the breath, up – the chin!

Don’t you agree
with the crying discipline?
Controled by the queen,
I hold the steer.

I am crying my best!
Can’t you see?

Sharpen your tears, it is going to be a long one.


©Nadja Kracunovic


Categories
art chapter general

Voicing displeasure #1: Masculine Femininity

You are not a blowjob in the rain. You are not a piece of meat on the bar’s toilet tiles. You are the deepest voice of Southeast Europe.

”You are a boy, aren’t you?” I was asked by Frauenarzt (gynecologist) on the first call I made after moving to Germany. I wanted my female, dear friend down there to be healthy, but my ultra-deep, male voice transformed everything into an uncomfortable phone conversation – confusion about my gender. Far away from being insulted, I was actually glad that she showed her disorientation in our dialogue. I never thought that this masculine polished, deep tone coming from my stomach, being transmitted through my mouth could be my own defense mechanism against the enemies. My own complaining tool. A voice fighting the whole army – the voice winning the war. I must admit, I was bitter and partially heartbroken that I could not be a princess of my father’s kingdom, neither could I be the most wanted girly girl in my classroom. All my honeyed and nectarous power was visible much later after puberty tore down the confused teenager.

The voice became both an important and powerful tool of mine over the years. There is so much to tell. So much to complain about. Screaming in the holes of the system, spitting on their streets, and yelling whenever I feel like it. My voice is my medium. My voice is my capital. My masculine persona was born within it.

Let’s talk about boys. Voice of the boys. Boys for the voice. Voicing the boys. The ones that I love, the ones that abandon me, scared me, the ones that empowered me, satisfied me, treated me as an object, terrified me, loved me, protected me, and let me be the version of Nadja I am, while writing this.

I will tell you about the act of loudness after I tell you the ”Mustard bastard”.

MUSTARD BASTARD

My fingers in your hair, he said. 

My hair was tied up in a high ponytail so that it would not fall into miniature portions of so-called canapes. I would cut the bread into slightly larger croutons. I would cover a slice of bread very precisely with yellow, freshly produced mustard. The knife I used was the same one used for butter with a carved brand on the bottom of the handle.

He said: I would like to tie your hands up around the radiator and feed you. I will grab your hair and pull it until you start crying. I will spread it all over your body.

My favorite color has always been yellow. My grandmother bought me a yellowish backpack for the first day of school. She said that I look like the sun and that the whole world rotates around me. 

He would put my yellow backpack on the floor and take my clothes off – to explore the sun’s rays. My skin is cowered while my 15 old body is shivering. When he finished splashing mustard over my belly I would cry from the pain, but he would take me in his lap calling me his little sun. The pain would pass soon.

Bon Appetit! My mother prefers eating hot dogs without mustard while I eat them with.

I can’t tell why

but I love yellow

I can’t really know

Is this taste mellow

if you plant it,
it will surely grow
is this taste bitter

or is it just the snow?

he talks about my body

to inhabit it,

have a sip
capture it
matter it
body skip
imagine it.

He likes my mustard,
Bon Appetitt.

THE ACT OF LOUDNESS

These so-called mustard bastard made my voice silent many, many times. This phenomenon is called the loss of voice and it is a real psychological disorder. Indeed.

A girl from Yeman was born from rape, believing that rape is the only thing she deserves. An older man from the park was touching his genitals 2 meters from my 17 years old presence. Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. Two middle-aged men were jerking off in front of me on the bus 706 in Belgrade, in the middle of the day. In Nicaragua, between 1998 and 2008, police recorded 14,377 cases of sexual assaults, with more than two-thirds of reports involving girls under the age of 17. A 50 years old man told me that he will tie my hands around the radiator in the supermarket, while I was selling the mustard. Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.

The loss of voice is an experience when a person has something she or he feels is important to say but does not say it. Often this refusal to speak one’s mind is linked to feelings of inadequacy, fear of rejection, or fear of humiliation. Once adolescence is in full force, this inner, authentic voice is rarely shared with anyone, except for a few people whom girls trust. Outside of these close and trusting interactions, girls use an “acceptable” voice – one that expresses what they assume others expect them to think and feel.

Girls must use all the masculinity. Girls must scream stronger, dig deeper and spit harder.

The Act of Loudness, media performance, 2021

I dig, dig, dig

I plant,

I am a juicy fig.

Take me, try me, do not jig

I smell like a bloody rose,

Look at me!

I dig, dig, dig

and it grows.

Should I be loud?

I dig,

dig for the crowd.

I dig here, I dig now.
You are the one that is endowed.

I will scream for the supreme.

Am I allowed?

Is this bitterness in my mouth?

It pulses and shelters. What about?

I dig, dig,

and it sprouts.

VOICING DISPLEASURE #1
Text, video/performance, illustration: Nadja Kracunovic (Nađa Kračunović)

Categories
art basic book general

Making the unnoticed visible. Rachel Whiteread’s “Double-Doors” on the cover of Sara Ahmed’s “Complaint!”

The cover of the publication “Complaint!” by Sara Ahmed (2021) shows an exhibition photograph of the installation “Double-Doors II, A+B”, 2006/2007 by Rachel Whiteread. In this photographed “room”, “Sara Ahmed” is set above the doors in cream-coloured capital letters and in 2D. The photograph is surrounded by a frame, also cream-coloured, in the lower part of which the title of the book and a quotation from Angela Davis are set in black letters and the same typography as above.

The “Double-Doors” are the focus of attention; in contrast to the entire publication, including its illustrations in the interior section in black and white, the cover and thus also the photograph of the doors is printed in grey-white-black-toned colours. This colour printing is reminiscent of a griseille technique or also of monochrome colour field paintings, they rely on a strong shadow effect in their effects, were used in different centuries and for different genres: Griseille for medieval panel/ancient paintings or also stained glass in churches and monasteries, monochrome (here in greyscale) can find its application in all fields (advertising, photography, design, interior/architecture) and was a preferred format in modernism. The colour-field paintings were often large-format, to the point of colour uniformity, and were often painted by male painters.

Here now are Whiteread’s double doors, two quite obviously unrelated, different door variants. The reference to Whiteread is noted on the back of the cover, so that Whiteread’s name does not compete with Ahmed’s name, and so it is not immediately apparent to quick readers or readers unfamiliar with art that the cover design is an illustration of an artistic sculpture.

Whiteread’s artistic strategy essentially focuses on transforming everyday objects such as mattresses, boxes, hot-water bottles, but also staircases and entire houses, and even doors, into sculptural negative forms made of resin, rubber, concrete or plaster, sometimes even taking another replica from the replica. In this way, the cavities hidden in the objects take shape and, in particular, the surfaces, their wounds, scratches and wear and tear are materialised. With this negative replica process (also referred to as mummification in theoretical reception), the 1993 Turner Prize winner transforms the previous voids that existed in familiar routines but were not recognisable, the seemingly absent, into a volume that can now in turn attract attention like a crime scene and evoke new themes and interpretations. These can be memories, pasts, nostalgias, pains, obsessions, pathologies, etc. The previously unseen becomes imaginable and visible through a minimalist process of abstraction and materialisation, especially the traces of use on the surfaces become recognisable, documented and archived and can be interpreted by the recipients in a personal process of reception. Whiteread herself speaks of the entrails she is interested in, entrails that no one has seen before and now become sculptural.

Ahmed is also interested in previous emptiness, the previously unsaid and unobserved, which is now to find presence. She dissects the “entrails”, the inner life – of complaint operations: What takes place, where and by whom, with whom, what is enforceable, what is prevented? And she is interested in the traces that arise and remain, the pain, injuries and scars that are documented and archived as possibly traumatised psyches, as in Whiteread’s sculptures. Both colleagues focus their attention on doors. While Whiteread seems to be interested not only in the topos but also in the formal as sculptural questions, perhaps also in psychological and physical similarities to the users, Ahmed emphasises both their metaphorical and operational dimension with the doors: doors must be opened in order to make and enforce complaints, complaints are made behind closed doors, doors are closed for those who complain or are closed:

„Doors can tell us something not only about who can get in but who can get by or who can get through. After all, when a path is no longer available to us, a door becomes a figure of speech: we say that door is closed. A women of colour academic described her department as a revolving door, “women and minorities” enter, only to head right out again: whoosh, whoosh.“ Source: https://feministkilljoys.com/2020/03/17/slammed-doors/

„Note then: power can work through what might seem a light touch: all you need to do to close a door on someone is to write them a less positive reference. This means that: the actions that close doors are not always perceptible to others. A closed door can itself be imperceptible; we can think back to the how diversity is figured as an open door; come in, come in; as if there is nothing stopping anyone from getting in or getting through. Or it might be that the effects of the actions are perceptible but the actions are not: so when someone is stopped, it seems they stopped themselves.“ Source: https://feministkilljoys.com/2020/03/17/slammed-doors/

The fact that Whiteread’s exhibition photograph of the door installation has now just been put on the cover of Ahmed’s book in greyscale colours certainly has something to do with the source photograph. Whiteread’s material, both the sculptures and installations and the exhibition photographs, not infrequently turn out in this colour scheme. But with the decision to design the cover in this way and exactly this way, next semantic levels merge with each other: it is about the “entrails”, which can now already be more precisely designated in the application of the technique of griseille or monochrome. For these artistic techniques reference specific places (churches, monasteries), times (modernity) and practitioners of these techniques (male artist colleagues) and can thus determine very precise structural and cultural techniques and framework conditions. The use of griseille and monochrome thus makes a meta-commentary on the subject: Attention, the cover seems to announce, we are located with the now following contents between the book covers in toxic, ideological, (quasi-)religious, traumatic, maltreating, in effective contexts of meaning of patriarchally effective structures and cultures.

This is also the context in which the quote from Angela Davis, the ancestor of the US civil rights movement and feminism, chosen for the cover design, is to be understood:  “Complaint! is precisely the text we need at this moment.“ Like Whiteread’s artistic strategy of transforming negative forms into positive forms or recognising the positive in the negative replica – for example, the doorknob in the hole – this is precisely what is envisaged for Ahmed’s book; the use of plaster for the materialisation of the absent, which is used as a healing material in medicine, points in the direction of the concern presented here.

Categories
art basic book general

Das Nichtbemerkte sichtbar machen. Rachel Whitereads „Double-Doors“ auf dem Cover von Sara Ahmeds „Complaint!“

Das Cover der Publikation „Complaint!“ von Sara Ahmed (2021) zeigt eine Ausstellungsfotografie der Installation „Double-Doors II, A+B“, 2006/2007 von Rachel Whiteread. In diesen fotografierten „Raum“ ist oberhalb der Türen in cremefarbenen Großbuchstaben und in 2D „Sara Ahmed“ gesetzt. Die Fotografie ist von einem ebenfalls cremefarbenen Rahmen umgeben, in dem unteren Teil des Rahmen ist der Titel des Buches und ein Zitat von Angela Davis in schwarzen Schrift und der gleichen Typografie wie oben gesetzt.

Im Zentrum des Blicks stehen die „Double-Doors“, im Unterschied zu der gesamten Publikation einschließlich ihrer Abbildungen im Innenteil in Schwarz-Weiß ist der Einband und damit auch die Fotografie der Türen in Grau-Weiß-Scharz-getönten Farben gedruckt. Dieser Farbdruck erinnert an eine Griseille-Technik oder auch an monochrome Farbfeldmalereien, sie setzen in ihren Effekten auf eine starke Schattenwirkung, wurden in verschiedenen Jahrhunderten und für verschiedene Genre eingesetzt: Griseille für mittelalterliche Tafel-/Altarmalereien oder auch Glasmalereien in Kirchen und Klöstern, Monochromie (hier in Graustufen) findet in allen Bereichen ihre Anwendung (Werbung, Fotografie, Design, Innen-/Architektur) und war ein bevorzugtes Format in der Moderne. Die Farbfeldmalereien waren oft großformatig, bis hin zur Farbengleichheit und wurden oft von männlichen Malern gemalt.

Hier nun Whitereads Doppel-Türen, zwei ganz offensichtlich nicht zusammen gehörende, unterschiedliche Türvarianten. Die Referenz auf Whiteread ist auf der Rückseite des Einbandes notiert, so dass Whitereads Name nicht in Konkurrenz zu Ahmeds Namen tritt und damit für schnelle oder kunstunwissende Leser*innen auch nicht gleich erkenntbar ist, dass es sich bei der Einbandgestaltung um die Abbildung einer künstlerischen Plastik handelt.

Whitereads künstlerische Strategie konzentriert sich im Wesentlichen darauf, Alltagsgegenstände wie zum Beispiel Matratzen, Schachteln, Wärmflaschen, aber auch Treppen und ganzen Häuser, und eben auch Türen in skulpturale Negativformen aus Harz, Gummi, Beton oder Gips zu überführen, manchmal auch vom Abdruck einen nächsten Abdruck zu nehmen. Über diesen Weg nehmen die Hohlräume, die sich in den Gegenständen verbergen, Gestalt an und werden insbesondere die Oberflächen, ihre Wunden, Kratzer und Abnutzungen materialisiert. Mit diesem Negativabgussverfahren (in der Theorierezeption auch als Mumifizierung bezeichnet) verwandelt die Turner-Preisträgerin von 1993 die vorherigen, in den vertrauten Routinen zwar vorhandenen, aber nicht erkennbaren Leeren, das scheinbar Absente in ein Volumen, das nun seinerseits wie ein Tatort Aufmerksamkeit finden kann und neue Themen und Be-/Deutungen evoziert. Hierbei kann es sich etwa um Erinnerungen, Vergangenheiten, Nostalgien, Schmerzen, Obzessionen, Pathologien etc. handeln. Das zuvor Nichtgesehene wird durch einen minimalistischen Abstrahierungs- und Materialisierungsvorgang vorstell- und sichtbar, insbesondere die Gebrauchsspuren auf den Oberflächen werden erkennbar, dokumentiert und archiviert und können von den Rezipient*innen in einem persönlichen Rezeptionsprozess be-/deutet werden. Whiteread selbst spricht von den Eingeweiden, die sie interessiert, Eingeweide, die zuvor niemand zu Gesicht bekommen hat und nun skulptural werden.

Auch Ahmed interessiert sich für bisherigen Leeren, das bisher Ungesagte und Unbeobachtete, das nun zur Präsenz finden soll. Sie seziert die „Eingeweide“, das Innenleben – und zwar von Beschwerdeoperationen: Was findet hier wo und durch wen, bei wem statt, was ist durchsetzbar, was wird unterbunden? Und sie interessiert die Spuren, die entstehen und zurückbleiben, die Schmerzen, Verletzungen und Narben, die wie in Whitereads Plastiken als womöglich traumatisierte Psychen dokumentiert und archiviert werden. Beide Kolleginnen richten dabei ihr Augenmerk auf Türen. Während Whiteread neben dem Topos das Formale als skulpturale Fragen, vielleicht auch psychologische und körperliche Ähnlichkeiten zu den Benützerinnen zu interessieren scheinen, stellt Ahmed mit den Türen sowohl deren metaphorische als auch operative Dimension heraus: Türen müssen geöffnet werden, um Beschwerden anzubringen und durchzusetzen, Beschwerden werden hinter verschlossenen Türen vorgebracht, Türen sind für diejenigen, die sich beschwerden, verschlossen oder werden geschlossen:

„Türen können uns nicht nur etwas darüber sagen, wer eintreten kann, sondern auch, wer vorbeikommt oder wer durchkommen kann. Denn wenn uns ein Weg nicht mehr offen steht, wird eine Tür zu einer Redewendung: Wir sagen, dass die Tür geschlossen ist. Eine farbige Akademikerin beschrieb ihre Abteilung als eine Drehtür, durch die “Frauen und Minderheiten” eintreten, nur um gleich wieder hinauszugehen: wusch, wusch.“ Quelle: https://feministkilljoys.com/2020/03/17/slammed-doors/

„Beachten Sie also: Macht kann durch eine scheinbar leichte Berührung wirken: Alles, was Sie tun müssen, um jemandem eine Tür zu schließen, ist, ihm eine weniger positive Referenz zu schreiben. Das bedeutet, dass die Handlungen, die Türen schließen, für andere nicht immer wahrnehmbar sind. Eine geschlossene Tür kann selbst nicht wahrnehmbar sein; wir können uns daran erinnern, wie Vielfalt als offene Tür dargestellt wird; hereinspaziert, hereinspaziert; als ob es nichts gibt, was jemanden daran hindert, hereinzukommen oder durchzukommen. Oder es könnte sein, dass die Auswirkungen der Handlungen wahrnehmbar sind, die Handlungen selbst aber nicht: Wenn jemand aufgehalten wird, scheint es, als hätte er sich selbst aufgehalten.“ Quelle: https://feministkilljoys.com/2020/03/17/slammed-doors/

Dass Whitereads Ausstellungsfotografie der Tür-Installation nun gerade in Graustufenfarben auf das Cover von Ahmeds Buch gebracht wurde, hat sicher auch mit der Ausgangsfotografie zu tun. Whitereads Material, sowohl die Plastiken und Installationen als auch die Ausstellungsfotografien, fallen nicht selten in dieser Farbgebung aus. Aber mit der Entscheidung, den Einband so und genau so zu gestalten, verschmelzen nächste semantische Ebenen miteinander: Es geht um die „Eingeweide“, die in Anwendung der Technik der Griseille oder der Monochromie nun schon genauer bezeichnet werden können. Denn diese künstlerischen Techniken referenzieren bestimmte Orte (Kirchen, Klöster), Zeiten (Moderne) und Praktizierende dieser Techniken (männliche Künstlerkollegen) und können damit sehr genaue strukturelle und kulturelle Techniken und Rahmenbedingungen bestimmen. Der Einsatz von Griseille und Monochromie nimmt damit einen Metakommentar auf das Thema vor: Achtung, scheint das Cover mitzuteilen, wir befinden uns mit den nun folgenden Inhalten zwischen den Buchdeckeln in toxischen, ideologischen,  (quasi-)religiösen, traumatischen, malträtierenden, in wirkmächtigen Bedeutungszusammenhängen patriarchial wirksamer Strukturen und Kulturen.

In diesem Kontext ist auch das für die Umschlaggestaltung ausgewählte Zitat der Altvordern von US-amerikanischer Bürgerrechtsbewegung und Feminismus Angela Davis zu verstehen: „Complaint!  is precisly the text we need at this moment.“ Wie Whitereads künstlerische Strategie, Negativformen zu Positivformen umzuwandeln bzw. im Negativabdruck das Positiv zu erkennen – beispielsweise im Loch den Türknauf – wird genau das auch für Ahmeds Buch in Aussicht gestellt; der Einsatz von Gips für die Materialisierung des Absenten, das als ein Heilungsmaterial (in) der Medizin eingesetzt wird, weist die Richtung des hier vorgetragenen Anliegens.